RELINK

relink please.

http://jo-jolene.onsugar.com

Finally.

Finally, I'm back home and back to blogger.

After 5 days not blogging and I'm back now.

This will be a short one too I guess, because I have to do some last minute homework again.

Physics report and my moral work are the aims for today.

Yea, about singapore trip, this time I was a real good girl as I didn't bought anything! WOW. Not even a single shirt. Good girl. (shy) 0.0 okay la, shampoo those small small things not counted ya. haha.

And ya, I got a new bible and a new phone. (:

Just don't have that proper mood to blog.

that's all then.

singapore.

Yea, as I have mentioned, I'm currently in singapore.

bla bla bla.

I promised that I will do my work, so I brought accounts and add maths.

Great, I finished ONE and only one question for accounts, for add maths, I just started.

Bored bored bored....

But, hoping that holidays will not end, because once it ends, I have to go back, have to go to school and exam is coming, lastly.... just don't feel to go back.

Enjoying here :D

blablabla.

don't know what to blog.

was writing another post just now, but till the half, it's like.... LOST, BLANK.

I know it's a stupid post for today, let me rearrange everything first.

wait for the next one^^

Jolene

untitled

Few days didn't post already.

Well well, holidays reach finally :D *happy*

But, I promise myself, this holidays must really work hard already, no more just laptop- facebook-online please.

Books are calling ~~

Everybody is telling me to relax, just treat this moment as a part of your life.

Hey, you won't be studying throughout your whole life right... Okay, you may, I mean continue learning by reading books or what, but it's like there are many other things such as after primary and secondary school life, you will step into the working part, and so on.

So, everyone is asking me to enjoy and you know, just try to be happy always and just accept all those exciting challenges. And, life won't end just because you failed your exam or you didn't do well.

It's just a part of it, teaching you how to grow tougher.

Recently, I'm quite affected of it. As many of them told me that, I'm not studying for anyone or anything in this world.

You may study for the scolarship, BUT are you sure and 100% that you will get it?

Secondly, studying for your family, mostly dad and mum. Feeling really depressed when you didn't do well, feeling stressed and pressured.

I myself experienced it until I realised that I'm actually putting the pressure on my own. No one ordered me to get 1st or all A's. I'm the one who used to think negatively 0.0

It's really suffering if you study for your family. -.-

Hello?

We are studying for ourselves, for our sake k.

After thinking for quite some time, I realised how important is it to really study for ourselves.

After spm, who is the one applying for scolarship? ME

Who is the one who will control our future? of course God, and me. As if you don't work hard, that's the end.

It's simple, it only depends on whether you want or don't want. That's it.

Yea, try to love to study :D love all the subjects, love your teachers and love youself. Most important is trust yourself. Just enjoy this secondary school's life.

Know what? Don't ever say NO, or I hate xxx subject. Don't say that word before trying to love it.

Once you say you hate it, it is far away from you since that minute and you will never get interested or fall in love with it.

Once you say you love it, miracles will happen. As you love it, you have the interest in it and you can do it.

For pmr, I remembered I used to do badly in my kh, also known as kemahiran hidup. All the C's and D's come back every time. I told myself, I will love this subject, I won't give up easily. Thank God, I manage to catch up with it :D

So now, same to my form four subjects, can say lah I haven't really get to understand all the subjects really well. ): MUST WORK REALLY HARD.

Talk a lot huh today, haha. Okay, next time will cut cut. Just something to share, don't like then please close your eyes :D

Tomorrow:

Physics tuition 10.30- 12.30

Accounts 2-5

Jiayoussss!

Breakfast 9.15, better sleep now or else no breakfast for me ):

nightnight :D

sunday

Mum got tuition int the morning, so we didn't go for the worship service in the morning.

Went for breakfast in mentakab at about 10 plus.

During the journey back to Temerloh, mum's car got problem.

At first it was the air-cond problem, no air-cond, then heard sound, and the car became slower and slower.

Super scary and worried. Will we get stuck in the middle of the road?

We stopped at cowboy for a while.

Then, decided to go home since still can start the engine.

Thank God, that we managed to reach temerloh, reached xiao auntie's house.

Uncle was not in, so have to wait, at that time we realised the awful smell coming out from the engine, and smoke coming out. WOW

Conclusion, the car is left in xiao auntie's house. Shall get back tomorrow.

Sitting other teacher's car tomorrow.

Walao, tomorrow siao siao.. 3 tuition. Chemistry, bm and add-maths. can die -.-

Reached home at about 1pm.

Then, slept from 1.30- 4.30. Super geng and pro!!!! haha.

Woke up, faceboook~~

Raining heavily, Jolene kept the clothes, folded the clothes and ironed the clothes.

So good girl *shy*

The heavy rain poured on the roof, so loud, super scary.

Now, I finally know that ironning clothes, super tiring! ): one week's uniform~

I realised something is, by doing all those stuffs, I actually learining to be independent. I won't have my mum beside me when I'm going to college right?

After clothes, Jolene swept the floor :D

Mum downstairs, I upstairs. Swept + mopped.

All the housework today, sunday would be the housework-day :D

Trainning me to be independent day.

Don't know why, although it's tiring, I enjoyed doing it because I know it's my room, my house, and it's my responsibility to clear up the mess, especially my room.

Now, everything is clean, at least we are staying in a clean environment.

After reporting about today, let's talk about yesterday.

Old town, 4 friends birthday... Poh Shien, Wai Ling, Jui Jie and Cian Rhu.

Cian Rhu's birthday is today, Happy Birthday to her :D

All four should be very happy, got lots of presents. hehehe

But, before old town, Jolene was like an auntie in bubbles, choosing presents. LOL!

I went to eat at happy fried before that, reached bubbles at about 7.45.

Spent almost 45 minutes there, like an auntie, don't know what to buy just keep hanging around.

At last, chose 3 presents. Jui Jie's one, shared with daven. The 3 girls present really almost break my head. Anyway, if I have been given a longer time, or maybe there are more ideas from friends, I will get to choose gift better ones. However, it's just a ''xin yi'' right. Hope they like it :D

Reached oldtown, the pair in their world, boys in their world, girls in another world, yea Jolene too in her own world. LOL.

Almost wanted to went back at 9pm. Because really can feel the lonely feelings. However, decided not to, after all it's not my birthday. So, no black face no leaving early I tell myself.

Luckily, the black gang boys made some stupid jokes, and everything is better after the cutting cake ceremony :D

Photos will be uploaded soooon (:

Reached home at 11 plus.

That's all.

Tears

Tuesday, raya holidays is coming soon, wow. Jolene just can't wait to enjoy her holidays again, damn stressed nowadays.

Thought that I have learnt to control myself, but I actually I didn't. -.-

I'm still the Jolene, who cries when she faces any problems, as she thinks that is the only way she can express her feelings. At least she will feel much much better after that.

I'm honestly saying that, I have been trapped by myself recently.

I don't know why I just doubt everything about myself.

I can laugh for this minute and cry for the next, crazy?

I'm tired of the current me.

You know what, I can even be so stressed for my chemistry that I was attacked by the equations whole night yesterday, causing me not to sleep for the whole night.

It was super scary.

I almost wanted to break my head. I think I dreamt about equations, and the ways of solving them.

The feeling was like, all the equations are above me, much more stronger, bigger and taller than me. They were stepping on my head, expecting me to solve them, balance them. walao -.-

I prayed, but why???

I can't feeling the relationship between us anymore, is it my faith towards You is not strong enough?

I doubt myself, do I really believe and trust in You?

Am I a christian? This is a serious question.

I'm tired of being happy in front of others, because I don't want to see anyone to be sad.

I pretended to be nothing, deeply inside, I'm confused. Should I be happy or sad?

After all, I know..............

I'm scared. I know You will be there for us, we prayed...

Is it because my prayers are not enough? not sincerely? Or I just seek you when I'm having troubles. I don't know.. All kinds of questions come out in my mind.

I'm actually full of fear.

As I said, I can be happy for a thing that I should be sad.

But after a minute, I'm crying for that thing.

What is it all about?

I feel myself giving up soon, You know?

Brothers and sisters in Chirst,

pray for me and my family.

I mentioned that I love to take photos when I'm moody, did I?

speechless

I seriously need someone to talk, will you be the one?

I'm going crazy soon....................... ):

new specs

Wanted to change.

Imported this blog there, but.... I'm kinda blank there 0.0 haha.

So stick to blogger will do.

yea, Jolene has been a good girl today.

Went to church's morning service after ages. WOW.

After that, breakfast + the store+ specs + market.

slept, dreaming.....

don't know doing what for the whole day.

Wanted to do my homework but I just don't have the strength to start ): sien.

xuewah and jiayiee came over just now.

Watched ''you're hired.'' haha. Didn't really do our work. The work is the chemistry presentation, haiz. wu liao thing AGAIN. very irritating de!

Now, I'm again in don't know doing what mood.

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sleeeeep.

Before and after

I promise myself to finish everything by today and be a good girl from now onwards

Without fringe, weird?

as you see, still at paragraph one, jiayousss!

BEFORE

; MR LIM!!!!! WANT TRY?

AFTER

The chinese medicine ):

Jolene is super good girl to finish the whole thing!!!!

It tastes......................................... ):

9 more days to go...........

Home sweet home

Finally, Jolene reached home safely yesterday at about 7.30pm.

Jean went home.

Swept and mopped the living room as it was so dusty, mum can't stand the dust ): *goodgirl* :D

Had dinner at duo xiang, finally after ages ~~

Farmvillie after that. Addicted to it. owhhh...

Facebook+ youtube+ blog after that~

Then, sleep sleep.

Super tired but didn't sleep well, because I forgot

to pray ):

I prayed and at last I fell asleep *guilty*

Luke 9: 25

It is worth nothing for them to have the whole world if they themselves are destroyed or lost.

Jolene is currently studying Luke. :D

Now, I'm listening to because of you and beautiful recommended by celeste. Nice :D

Because of You,

there's no need to fear..

Homework homework, I'm back for you

Doesn't it look like how I descibed it before this?

STARTING TODAY

NICE SMELL ):

Got this :D

Love it, but didn't get it ):

Best chicken chop ever + wedges :D

Venue: Sutera Mall + ??? mall

p/s: Ignore my face -.-

Confidence

CONFIDENCE

Patience

PATIENCE

trust

TRUST

maybe...

Feel very cold and tired.

Does it mean that I'm going to fall sick?

School holidays is coming to the end ):

Very sad....

One week just passed like that.

You know what, when school reopens, Jolene will get her result.

I did so badly, I wonder what position will I get.

But, does that mean that I'm going to fail forever? Nah...

That day heard this message in church.

So what if you own everything in this world, at the end of the day, you will die too right?

Do you consider yourself as a ''SUCCESSFUL' person just because you have become a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher??

What about those who are not a doctor, lawyer or a teacher?

Does it means that they are forever a lousy person?

Let me tell you........

How successful you are, if you are not doing the things that God wants us to do, I'm sorry you are not that ''SUCCESSFUL''

You know what, you should not be satisfied for the things you have achived now.

You should too not be so sad just because you are not that successful in your life, or you have lost something or you don't own this and that.

As once you died, you have nothing.

The greatest thing and most successful thing should be, having our names in heaven.

This may be something God wants to remind me.

Very touched for it.

This is something for me to feel better as God doesn't want me to be too stressed.

Stay strong, Jolene.

Everything will be fine.

No point worrying for results ):

God is in control.

I did now prepare for it, so I don't even deserve for good results.

Leave it to God.

lost in the lost

JOLENE IS LOST.

Yea, talk about yesterday first.

Went for shopping in jb :D bought a dress, but tried few dresses. haha XD Try till very shuang sia~

Jolene loves shopping a lot :D

Will upload photos soon, ignore my ugly face -.-

Aunty Swee Lan shared some of her stories and experiences. Should be mostly experiences from people around her la.

I really love listening to her (:

That strengthen my faith towards God.

I always feel that I'm far far away from God, haiz. What to do? I'm dirty ): I'm such a sinful person.

I have to keep continue praying and ask for forgiveness.

Do not take for granted that you are already saved.

God is in control.

Before typing this post, I actually finised the other one. But, it was a miserable one, so I decided not to post.

After chatting with cousin, I feel much more better.

Thank God for that, as He sends them to give me advices and share with me their problems.

The conclusion we get is, God is always in control.

Today morning, woke up called by mum.

As usual, felt unhappy being disturbed from my sleep.

Mum and aunty wanted to bring me to a chinese doctor, which according to them, a very good doctor.

Went to bathe. Was thinking, why am I unhappy? hello, it's not early anymore. Is it wrong for people to care for me?

Prayed and I have the peace in my heart.

Followed them to jb.

There were lots of people so we decided to take breakfast for me, lunch for them first.

Later, waited for quite some time, finally it's our turn to go in.

The doctor checked, said my heart is very weak therefore blood pressure low, ovary also weak, got problem, and I like to think a lot. HAHA. This is funny. He knows that I like to think a lot, do I?

Then, he said it's better to cure my kidney stone first.

Wow, I tell you the medicine right.......

Waited one hour for them just to pick and pack the medicine.

What does the medicine look like?

Shall upload the photos later.

Just describe briefly.... It's like a plant, branches, leaves, seeds, flowers also inside -.- haha.

And, it surely taste.......................... VERY NICE ):

I have to take for 10 days. One bowl of medicine. Tomorrow(Today) is the first day.

Imagine how long it took to wrap the medicine.

We went at about 11 something, came back at about 4.30 pm.

See doctor just took about 15 minutes I guess. =.=

Went to watch Up later.

Surprisingly, cinema has maxis line. Sheyee you are lucky that I received your msg that time, that you asked whether tuition is on or not. haha

Ate burger for dinner.

Chatting with cousin, worrying, waiting, dreaming, facebook-ing and now posting, later sleeping.

I think I know what's my problem.

I shall pray it to God tonight.

Pray that I will change into a better person.

Pray that the things I'm worried of will not happen.

Pray that Celeste will not be sad anymore, pray that everything will come to an end, at least an answer.

Amen

singapore.

Yea, I'm currently in singapore for holidays.

Yesterday, went for worship, then to north point. Bought a blouse and a skirt XD

Bought a pair of shoes too after that (:

you don't deserve anything

super sad because of my marks.

damn scared for my results. I may even fail some subjects.

Physics, all the calculations I couldn't do today, sejarah, the same I couldn't remember anything.

And now,

STOP COMPLAINING.

YOU HAVE NOT PREPARED, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD GET.

SHUT UP AND TAKE THIS AS A LESSON.

YOU DON'T DESERVE TO GET ANY HIGH MARKS.

yea, this time I'm going to get very very bad results.

I didn't put in any effort, I didn't work hard for it, and so this is it.

I don't know how am I going to face my results.

For chemistry, I didn't expect to be so bad. I thought I did well in question 1, 2 and 3, except for question 4 and 5 which will ruin everything. Yet, it comes out 66. So now, I can't, I really can't expect more from others.

It's the end for Jolene this time.

Whatever promise I made, everything comes to an end.

Exam huh, our class people more and more pro already.

Refer to notes without bothering others, just refer the notes OPENLY. Really the pro of the pro!

Hide the notes under the table as though no one know, how small piece is your paper, people will still know right... LOL

no comment~

Besides,

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增肥计划失败了！！！

本小姐从昨天的晚餐，就一直没吃东西到今天下午3点多，才吃了点东西。

Everything because of the stupid exam, nope. Should be my attitude.

I studied last minute, ruined everything.

No time for meals, studied till almost fainted last night, too hungry and headache.

Today morning, just don't have the mood to eat anything, have to finish all the exams only I can put something in my mouth -.-

something is bothering my mind, other than the stupid exam which I can't wait to finish it.

结束

Another exciting match.

Walao, 28-26. Men doubles china's won over korea.

Super geng. Both pairs. The last part really depends on luck already.

Anyway, again, caiyun- fu haifeng won the men doubles title :D

Women singles won by Lu Lan, silver medal won by xiexingfang.

Mixed doubles, denmark won. Surprisingly :D but, I didn't watch that match. Silver medalist, indonesia (:

Women doubles, gold medalist, zhangyawen-zhaotingting, china.

Again, china is the overall champion.

Saw kkk-tbh XD super happy, zakry-tazari :D:D Both got bronze medal for Malaysia :D

Lin Dan

LINDAN

WORLD CHAMPION.

HE IS STILL THE KING OF BADMINTON.

--

正在努力的．．．

增肥　中

玲

the feelings of disappointment

超伤心啊，心都还没平伏下来。

真得就差拿两分，就能进到决赛了，他们现在会是多难过，失望啊！而支持他们的人，也难免会和他们有同样的感受。

真的就和决赛擦肩而过！！

你们还是我们的英雄！！ 明年要再努力！

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完了之后，还不能冷静下来，整个人的心情就好象从最高跌到最低去。明白那种明明就已经要到手了的东西，哪里知道竟然握不紧让它溜走了，那一种感受是多么的痛苦！！

起不来，继续拿着遥控器，按去921频道，要看烈火雄心3，明明就看到实第31集，哪里知道看到一半，竟然看到第32集！自己到底在干嘛？

烈火雄心3，圆满地结束了。都是好结局:D

这套戏，原本根本就不想看，因为剧中的演员关系。后来，有一天无意中看了一下，就继续追了。本来真的好讨厌钟有成的执著，可是后来看到，其实他做的都因为他爱她。在这最后一集，看到他终于放下了，也明白到爱情真的不能勉强。你多爱那个人，一旦过去了，你可以怎样？唯一可以做的就是祝福他。好大的感触~

当发现他在火场已停此呼吸时，眼泪不禁留了下来。为什么都没有好结局？又一个悲惨的结局。我承受不了。本人都是承受不了很大的打击，虽然比赛的不是我，在戏里的不是我，可是却令我感触很多。可以肯定的是，如果我在比赛里，肯定会崩溃。如果我在戏里，我也会和他一样很执著的不会放弃。

这不禁让我想起他，好久已没找他了。而现在的情况也不一样了。我知道他过两天会回来，可是。。 算了吧，已经结束的东西就算了。我多么不舍得，我也放下了这么多天。我真的不想再烦他了。有时候突然会想到他，也可以逼自己做其他东西，真的没必要想他了。

现在，有你就够了。

我很惊讶，雪华讲中了我的心事。其实不是啦，当时我根本没那想法，也许我在逃避，是被她一言惊醒吧！但这话听了就算了。可能那不是事实呢？没有一定的绝对嘛。

鹏有的问题还缠绕着我。我需要从第三个人的嘴巴，才知道你们的计划是什么，你们干嘛，你们在讲什么。我怎么觉得我真的真的参不进你们的话题，我甚至处于在一种不懂在发生什么事情的状态。我只能和自己说，没关系没关系，他们说的你没必要懂。我真的不想在你们面前提这些事，我知道这令你们很烦。所以，我还是继续保持着和你们玩闹的性格。那样，大家都会开心。有时候，说实话，我不知道我自己在笑什么。从一开始，我知道问题都在我这。什么自己的问题都是假的。所有的人和我都会不开心，包括他，你和你。我都知道。有什么问题，你们自己懂，自己支持对方，自己安慰着，其实你们自己就够了，不需要别人的参与。当我知道连出去我都不懂时，我已经真真实实的明白了一切。我并不是要怪你们任何东西。可能，朋友在你们和我眼中都不一样吧，我把朋友看得太重，以前把他看得太重，太执著的性格，令大家都喘不过气来。我已失去了他，现在轮到你们。一切使我的问题。我。。 我实在是不懂要怎样改变自己。你们有对方，他很快的就会有身边的那一个，而我。。现在连你，都不能好好的一起谈心事了。所有的事都改变了，包括我。。。

眼泪好久没掉下了，这是最后一次。。。

I know my chinese super ''lan'', LOL.

studies

I have given up even before trying I guess, I don't have the courage. It's very difficult, I can't ):

Post related to badminton, friends, studies.

excited to the max!!!!!!

Wow, just watched the most exciting match ever.

Lee Yong Dae- Jung Jae Sung vs Tan Boon Heong- Koo Kien Kiet.

the score is 16-21 21-14 22-20

Walao, the last match, I tell you... I really almost heart attack.

Can feel the feelings Rexy have, as both pairs were playing on the court. Zakry won 1st set, 2nd set lose 22-20. Walao......................... 3rd set gone.

Koo Kien Kiet did so many mistakes, while Boon Heong's smash was so powerful. Love them to the max. Although they didn't get to final, at least they really fight for it. Hope they will get a medal next year. A bronze medal for malaysia this year :D

Wow, until now I still can't calm down. I don't even dare to watch. hahaha. The last point I really ddin't watch. Oh my goodness.. What a pity!!!!!!!!!!!!

You all are my champions. Support Malaysia!!!!!! Support Koo and Tan. And also, Lee Chong wei, and both malays. All malaysian players :D

Tomorrow's men doubles. Fu Hai Feng, Jia yous :D

Men singles, chen jin played so well to win against taufik, I was so shocked about that. I'm sure tomorrow he will surely give lindan a good fight. Watch out :D

Women singles, xiexingfang jiayou :D

still can't calm down............

...

是还没开始，

还是已经放弃了呢？

那该从哪里开始？

where should I start revising?

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back to sleep ):

painnnnn ):

After eating nasi lemak, now I'm suffering ):

H1N1严重地在传染着

Recently, yea, everyone is worried because of this H1N1, especially the death cases are increasing everyday.

More and more people died because of this virus, so please take care all of you, my friends.

Especially among us those who are sick, take care and drink more water^^

BLANK.

Just came back from two tuitions.

Yea, wow, next week is our exam. I'm still not in the mood of studying -.-

Which to study first? Haiz.........

But, recently I very guai huh, everyday before 11pm I will off the lights and sleep. Wow, good girl. Self- praising. LOL.

suan le ba, really don't know what to write~

continue tomorrow.

-Goodnight-

开心背后的眼泪

Today's assembly was so short. Zzz. maths after that. planes planes planes???? Was turning in all direction trying to imagine and have a picture of it.

WOw, exam is nearrr... yea~~~

During moral lesson, heard that the ambulance came to our school, a girl was fainted. Anyone knows about it? the details? not 38, I'm just worried. No one knows what, it maybe really H1N1? She sesak nafas leh, which is one of the symptoms!! Anyway, pray that she will recovered ^^

Bm no teacher today, guess she have gone with the all the pidato's trip. 3 pidato is going on tomorrow, pray for them!!

After them, the teacher will come to me. As mine, the state level also haven't passed. Since april or may till now... I hope that I can finish with it faster. But, don't give me a shock by sending the letter today, and the competition is tomorrow.

hey, don't ever treat me like that!!! haha.

So, later as usual, bm and add maths tuition~

Can't wait to come home and have a nice sleep at night.

I guess that's all.

p/s im glad that you sensed that my mind was somewhere else just now in school. it's just the same normal problem ): I know I have to overcome it. Maybe I'm just not in their world, but I don't want to create problems or force people anymore. Just let it be. I have God, my family and you.

Crazy Little Thing Called Love.

Yea, we went for the drama yesterday.I missed the very beginning of it as I was ushering, people still coming. Yea, thank God that many people came yesterday to watch the play. A

nd, it was really very interesting and touching.

Act 1, which was about relationship, I almost missed the whole part of it, as my mind was some where else -.-

Act 2, yea, it really touched my feelings. About family matters.

Overall, I enjoyed it a lot, really a lot.

I wish to watch it again!! haha.

I truely enjoyed the drama, but in the same time, I was damn sad yesterday as I did a very very big mistake and hurt myself badly...............

I will never forget that moment you treated me. Don't misunderstand (:

It's just to remind me not to treat others cruely, or just thinking about myself only.

Today is THE DAY. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

super boliao. as u see the difference + my weird fingers

清醒

Very fast, today is friday already.

Another two weeks, monthly exam will start.

In order not to make myself too stress, I promise that I will start studying this weekend, no delay anymore.

I don't care what about others, I just want to be myself. wowwow. Jolene talking. LOL.

This afternoon, I was suffering from a bad headache, so skipped physics tuition.

However, attended accounts tuition, because last week missed the class already, I can't afford to miss any accounts' class anymore.

Accounts, as usual. HEADACHE.

In school, already super duper BLUR because of add maths, and again accounts attacked me.

During add maths lesson, seriously you know, I was like always dreaming away.

I just do what I can, but mostly the questions given by the teacher is too difficult, and I just wait for her to give the answer, while I copy in my book.

I wonder how am I going to sit for the exam ya............

CRAZY OF ADD MATHS. SICK OF ADD MATHS. BUT, I STILL LOVE ADD MATHS.

Hello, I can overcome kh for pmr, so I must overcome this too right? hehehe.

From now onwards, JOLENE LOVES ADD MATHS.

Watch烈火雄心3 just now. 欣赏卓柏宇（郑嘉颖）在戏里的坚强，自己没做的事，一点也不会去担心。发生什么事，自己都会以成熟的性格去对待。这还是我第一次赞他做得那么好。不过经过法政先锋后，对他改观了许多。

要说的其实不是他演得有多好，欣赏的是那人物的性格。

而钟有成（王喜）跌倒后，那种无助的感受，令我醒悟并想了很多东西。

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Somebody spoiled my mood, I got no mood to continue. wait for the next post bah.

Goodnight.

我要的

Thursday.

So fast, this week is coming to an end. And, start again monday, tuesday, wed....

Everyday the same routine, same feelings, same same same......

Don't you feel fed up and tired with life?

Well, today, all of a sudden, unexpected, I was chosen to be the secretary of the badan pengawas smkt, sesi 2010 I guess? LOL.

Wow, you know, s/u has lots of work... I don't really know whether I can handle or not.

I'm happy of taking the pose as it will gain koko marks :D But, I'm too busy for prefect's work.

It's quite ridiculous right, they actually put the form 6 girl as the penolong s/u. I should be her assistant right?

They voted actually, and I have no idea how much votes I got or she got... blablabla.

The main point is, I have extra work to do.

As long as God is with me, I know I can handle it. SO, good luck Jolene (:

Fortunately, all the ''old'' pengawas became penolong exco, as least we all earned marks for koko :D

Don't leave me friends, I'm still the same like you all ):

Homework.

more and more as usual.

Planned to do in the afternoon but failed.

Serious headache so slept.

And wake up, went for bk. There goes my afternoon~~~

Uncle Sai Kee said that he is glad that I changed my mind, means I'm taking bk....

How am I going to take, that's the question. Leave it to God, He will decide :D

Finally, finished the book of Acts. I actually expected to know what happened to Paul in the end, but............. the book of Acts actually ended like, Paul preached the gospel to the gentiles full of boldness and freedom... Something like that. Why never mentioned about how was Paul ):

I WILL FIND OUT! And, must start preparing for next year's bk quiz. Must get in at least third round man!!!!!!!!! haha. I know I can't beat the two pastors to-be. They will get into the final six :D

So, daven!!!!!!!!!! If possible, you will be my partner next year. Please start reading the book of Acts and Luke!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO GET ANY ZERO BACK ANYMORE!!!!!!

That's all, have to continue on physics report -.-''

Goodnight.

又过了一天

So fast, today is wednesday already.

Friends, our monthly exam is around the corner, are you and me prepared?

Haha, for me, I'm still BLURR with my add maths, I shall take this weekend to revise for it.

Anyone able to help me?

Okay, let's talk about today.

Today was such a great day. We went to school just for two periods of moral :D:D First time ar, so shuang! Est, english, biology no teacher! wow~ pj teacher entered, but I was as usual starring at him, dreaming~ I starred, because I wanted him to think that I was listening to him. And so, when he looked at me, I just nodded for whatever he said. Actually, I know nothing! HAHA. Too bad, so sorry ya, your pj not included in my spm. So, stay away~

This pj teacher ar, I hate the topic that he was teaching since last few weeks.

I don't like people to talk about emotion, stress or bla bla bla.

Because, I feel like he is talking to me! haha, and that's the truth. Okay lah, I know I'm emotional, stop reminding me, fine, I will change.

Change change change, when will I really change? now, tomorrow or later?

Today no assembly too :D Really love today a lot!!!!!!!

Anyway, we had our pengakap meeting. Discussed about what must we take part in and everything about the camp.

At first, wanted to go. Then, lazy to go. Finally, decided to go. LASTYLY.................

Wow, the competitions are quite interesting, however, it's NOT for Jolene. haha.

Cooking, the theme is ''nasi goreng''. If Jolene cooks, it will turn out...?? nasi hangus maybe? Or, maybe worst? Not even nasi, but HANGUS? too bad~

Gadget thing, opps.. sorry, not interested! very sensitive with that ''GXXXXX'' word. Embarrassing memory for me ):

Pertolongan cemas? nah... Jolene needs people to rescue man.... hahaha.

Malam kebudayaan? Jolene is not creative, idea-less, plus LAZY.

Something to do with mendidih air? I got no idea what is it, okay I don't even know what's it, so OUT.

Kawad, a nono too actually. But, it's the easiest I guess, just to memorize what to do. Anyway, Jolene hardly knows how to KAWAD. haha.

Futsal? Hey! For boys man...

Okay fine, so bola jaring?? Hey, this's for girls! But...... NOT JOLENE, because poor jolene doesn't know how to play............... sad right........

And soo soo on.... I don't remember what are the other competitions that they have.

Have different ideas with friends, make the situation very....?? Anyway, glad that we are fine :D

Sometimes really feel very stupid, like after quarrel already, will think, why am I getting angry with small small things? Why do I want to make myself so ''fan''? LOL. haha.

Enjoy our life is better :D

Started to discuss what to bring. Tracksuits, uniform, socks, shoes, hair dryer(suggested by xuewah, hahaha) and bla bla bla.........

Now, let me conclude everything, the camp is cancelled XD

And you know what, Jolene feels disappointed for some moment because I have actually prepared my MOOD to go!!!! And also, mc for monday! hahahahaha. Now, who is the person who say CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!

After that short short moment, I'M HAPPY. No need to get so tired!!! Saturday and sunday won't leave my lovely bed (:

Finished. Many but but but today ar I realised. Sot jor~~~

JOLENE, THE CLOCK SHOWS THAT IT'S 2210 NOW! SO, IT'S THE TIME TO CONTINUE ON YOUR HOMEWORK.

Goodnight guys.

p/s drama in church this saturday, 8pm. come come!!!! I'm glad that the camp is cancelled, and I'm able to go now!!! hehehe.

沉默

Jolene is a good girl today, attended chinese class leh, not like that lazy xuewah. hahaha. relax ar.

Today is tuesday, the day which I don't like the most. 3 science subjects in a day, chinese class in the afternoon and chemistry tuition at night. It's tiring man......

Having headache and sore throat, but still eating kfc before chinese class, okay I know I pro :D

My brother still having fever ar ): Don't know whether is it I'm the one who brought back the virus. Hope that he will recover soon.

As he is sick, we are living in a peaceful environment without his irritating voice. Good. Rest well, Joel.

Jolene actually has a lot of homework, but after posting, I'm going to sleep. Tomorrow two free periods during est, shall do moral or any of the reports. I'm getting fed up with both of them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm having this idea recently, to quit being a prefect.

Okay, let me tell you the reason, but I'm sure you will feel it's a very stupid reason. HAHA.

You know what, I feel that the prefect's uniform is very UGLY! HAHA. That's why I prefer those normal ones.

However, most of my friends have became prefects recently. If I quit now, I will not be with them le ): and I will not have those offers for pengawas. haha or 优待~~~

But, to be honest, there are not many 优待 actually. haha. Just can skip assembly loh when you have the tugas at other place ^^

---------------------------------

actually forgotten what to write, have been disturbed by miss jiayiee as she completed her blog. haha.

okay, that's the 1st reason la about the uniform de, now second, which is I want to be a more simple person, or just a normal one? haha, what am I trying to say?

Maybe, I'm influenced by she and she. Last time, I like her a lot, so I tend to follow her style and lost myself, and now same goes to the second her. haha. no lah, what I mean is, I just don't want to be bothered by too many things, just want to concentrate on my studies, don't want to get scolding from others (sometimes, it's not that often anyway). LOL.

And, maybe being a normal student, I can enjoy my school life more won't be so stress?

okay laa, that's just all my imagination, opinion and thinking. too much~

Finished about uniform, umm... nono, should be prefect's things.

now, go on about my life.

Jolene is in a comfortable and stress-free life. haha. Thank God for that. At least, I can handle my STRESS-ness well. LOL. Do homework one by one everyday, hoping to finish it soon. Hope plus doing. :D

There were some problems in school today, luckily they are solved.

开心或不开心，是看自己怎么想的。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 不要只为自己而想，什么都‘我，我，我’，　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　试着为身边的人想想！　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

　　　　　　　　　　 这是提醒自己必须改变的第一件事　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

HMmmmmm, that's all la.

Goodnight.

bible knowledge quiz

wellwell, I'm back after all the stressed, depressed moments, now I'm back with joy, happiness that given by God.

Thursday night, I was still reluctant whether to go or not for the bible knowledge quiz.

Uncle Sai Kee called, and tried to persuade me to go, just for fun.

Conclusion is, I had fun during the trip, and I truely enjoyed it although there were some EXPECTED SURPRISES, haha. Do you get what I mean?

We travelled to kl yesterday, the journey was blessed by God, we didn't lost like last year they did. But, there was this traffic light. Oh my goodness, we even counted you know. Within 10 seconds, it will change to either green or red, whereas the other side was 1- 2 minutes. So, everyone one was stucked there, and it caused traffic jam.

Hmm, we reached Wisma Methodist, the place we stayed overnight, about 7++ I think.

Here's a big WOW for it.

For competitions, normally we don't expect much right, I thought it was going to be some sort like normal school hostels?

WOW, the rooms were like hotel rooms! Two single beds and one double bed, and a plasma tv. wow. Everyone was surprised. Thank God for that, we had a comfortable night (:

After putting down our things, we went to Petaling street. Had our dinner there, and went for a walk around the place.

Saw many LV bags man.... haha.

Well, if yesterday was the normal jolene, she wouldn't give up the chance walking and looking around. But, I was just too tired to do so.

Anyway, I bought three bookmarks and a cute pencil, probably two for my mum (: she likes bookmarks.

Finally, we went back and took our bath. Wow, so relaxing!!! Switched on the tv, and guess what, our plan to read until morning failed completely. ):

Even when we were watching, we felt sleepy already and finally slept without finished watching the show. -.-

Today, it was even more interesting.

We have to gather by 6.10 am, SOOOO EARLY!

Woke up and prepared everything ready, there we go, to SMK Assunta. And, I was still half awake.

After 10- 15 minutes, we reached there. The school was quite huge. More and more people came. People were reading, while we were dreaming, or maybe I was the one dreaming. haha~

Had breakfast and briefing, finally 1st round started, 40 objective questions in half an hour.

It's difficult!!! ); because Jolene didn't read. Great.

1st congratez to the abs team, they got total 70/80, one of the top scores, don't play play ya with our pastor to-be, Mr Jingye and Mr Yu Seng :D

Then, 2nd round, 10 questions. It's like they ask, and we answer.

Best part for sam and I. WOW, we actually got 0 for this round. Great right? First time in competitions, that I don't even know to answer one of it. WOW. haha. This is the 2nd surprise :D

Abs team, as usual scored again, their total was 92/140, where the top score was 108, not bad right? Should be excellent! For us too, we were the only one who got ZERO. It's so embarrassing lahh~~

Lastly, third round was the difficult part. Anyway, well done guys, you guys made it to the third round, almost final. Next year, you all will be one of the six in final :D jiayou!

Then, we went back to Wisma Methodist. But, the traffic jam was terrible.

So, we came down from the bus and walked to Mid Valley for lunch. ( I was starving)

Too many choices, I ate my dessert first then only I ordered rice, with lala and sotong, nice :D

After lunch, okay here's the part.

We couldn't travel by car or bus, because the traffic was real busy, and we actually went to the ktm station, took ktm, walked, took monorail, took lrt and walked again back to Wisma Methodist. missionery trips is it?

Wow, the weather was SUPER DUPER HOT. Thank God, we still got our way back :D

Got our clothes changed and finally home sweet home (:

Now, I'm TIRED.

GOODNIGHT EVERYONE.

shall talk more about my feelings tomorrow ya.

崩溃

Yesterday, I was damn frustrated because of my stupid homework.

I don't know how to do and all of a sudden I feel I'm so useless and I just don't know what to do.

So, mum suggested that I should drop bk to at least lighten my burden. I'm very very tired.

I'm tired of studying.

Why am I suffering so much that I can't finish my homework?

Now, not only that, I don't even know how to do.

I can't catch up for almost all the subjects.

Wanted to talk a lot, but I have forgotten everything.

Yesterday, I really don't know what should I do. I was lying on the floor, helpless...

I didn't want to talk to anyone neither my mum nor my friends.

Then, I cried.

People used to say I'm so weak, not tough enough.

When I face problems, I will cry.

Wonder how am I going to face my college life or even working in the future.

突然好想写华语。

我实在找不到自己，很无助。我不知道以前那不轻易放弃，为了得到好成绩而努力的我去了哪里。我顿时觉得很辛苦。功课的压力，朋友的问题，比赛的压力，父母的唠叨，把我压得真的快喘不过气来。有些人会想，只不过是那么小事，干嘛要这么紧张？功课做不完可以怎样，不就慢慢来啦！烦也没有用！觉得这句话没错吗？对我来说，我不懂什么叫慢慢来了！当你永远都做不完时，而前面还有一大堆的东西等着你，你就知道什么叫恐怖。我现在对着满桌子的功课，已经厌倦了！

可能我的朋友们你们都有这样的问题，而你们都能面对它。我则是比较弱的那一位。懒惰，贪玩的性格让我走不下去。我很辛苦。我不知道自己可以怎样。现在，什么事情我都会不爽，我不想读书了。这所有的问题都因为我懒惰，我真的不懂可以怎样改掉这性格。我功课都做不完，还读什么书，考什么试啊！

中三和中四的分别很大。中四的读书日子，你永远不会有休息的一天。你会和我说，这都是我累积成的功课。每天都有补习，难道你们都不觉得累吗？我连看电视的时间都牺牲了。我真的很累很累，我好想放弃了！！ 没有人会明白我心里有多么的难受！

为什么我还那么得空在这里浪费时间? 让我告诉你吧，我太笨了，每一科我都跟不上，现在的我脑里一片空白，我还要做什么功课？还要慢慢来做什么？等死？

讲了一大堆的谎话，参加比赛的稿，十多篇我要怎么背？对你的确给了我很多时间！ 又是因为我懒惰？我真的就是那么懒吗？何谓懒？那些不上课只顾着惹事的人不是懒吗？而我就是他们哪一类的？

比赛，还去比什么你告诉我？我没心读那两本书，试过晚上都会提醒自己要记得读，但当我赶了功课，我都精疲力尽了！还读什么？怎样读啊？我不会安排自己的时间？？？

随便吧，总之什么都可以用在我身上。我什么都不会就对了！

我不敢参与你们，因为你们都是勤劳的人，而我不是属于你们的。我不知道自己在哪里，我真的很累了！

still pray for what?

I never go church, never read bible, never pray, still got what to say?

I'm just lost.

I don't know how to go back to You. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

WOW. Today is Jolene's birthday. hehe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.

Thanks ya for my friends, xuewah, jiayiee, daven, muhillan, raveena, jinyong, wailing, aiwie, xing er, ween ching and poh shien for the cake yesterday. And, thanks for coming to kfc :D

Had an enjoyable one yesterday!

At first, we wanted to go to pizza.

But, the NICE, KIND worker of pizza hut said that we cannot bring the cake in. So, we changed our place to kfc.

After our meal and after cutting cake, we all started playing with the cake. Putting it on people's face and so on. Once a while, playing cake, it's okay lah. Relax friend (:

Pity me and jinyong. He kena his ears and neck whereas I kena my whole hand full of the cheese. Thanks to xuewah for her great job. :D

We even got scolded for being too noisy, so we learnt our lesson. Next time, no matter what party, don't held it at a restaurant. Make it at your house. At least you can enjoy every second fully :D wow.

Then, we went to ''fan ban'' old town to have tea. At first wanted to play some more but our mood all went down already. Too tired and it was quite late. They all went back home one by one, so at last we finished our ICE LEMON TEA ( weenching knows the meaning) and went home.

Had a wonderful time with you all. Thanks for everything :D Friendship forever ^^

Now, thanks for all the birthday wishes.

I wanted to jot down all the names in ascending order, but I failed. haha.

So, the first is chee hou, pei lee, chunyong, sean, wai kit, chin hoong, lovely yiyi, meiyi, xiang, aaron, agnes, poh shein, xuewah, muhillan, raveena, kevin, kaihao, jingye, mr. lim, rasa, boon theng, ah lek, jiayiee, ishyam, daven, yinsin, sheyee, chee hoe, ai wie, ween ching, kido, fuichi, ween hwua, shengyi, mummy, joel, jinyong, rida, annis, dasma, kama, aini and the gang, fairuz, eugene, mr.pika, celeste, chee khoon, chun joe, raj, teck yoon, chun how, jielian, huisi, xing er, kahong, jason, yithoong, teacher lea, zhi hui, amelia, lisin, wei sern, daddy, wen chong, hong loong, selene, joanne, huiling, cheng hong, felix, dharshenny, ling, khai jye, jimmy, alan, loong, xiang, janice, joo liang, joo guan, ze zshen, kianyoon, jern ian, shahrul, kahchun, kaichin, teacher chong, jean....

Yea, I hope I never leave anyone behind. I managed to write all I guess. Thanks all :D

This year, I didn't get 0000. Haha. Okay, it's a bit wu liao huh.

As a result, thank you all!

Thanks also to jinyong and daven for the presents :D

So now, Jolene's birthday is over ):

memories.

sweet or sad memories?

it's not the matter of hate anymore, as I don't know why and how to hate you.

我不再恨你，

因为我知道，这一切早已过去。

或在回忆里，的确很痛苦，我希望我能尽快走出来。

也许，很多人会说为什么是他，你问我，我也不会回答你。但，现在，这一切在也不重要。

因为，我要习惯没有你的日子。

拿起电话，我仍然想起你。写好的信息，依然没发出去。我想大家好过点。我知道我们都还在关心彼此，虽然已经不一样了，但维持着这样，就已经足够了。

所有的回忆藏在心里，谁也带不走它。

我希望，当你找到身边的她时，别告诉我。

仍然好想你，我可以忘记你吗？

不再想你，是我最后的决定。

Today, went to school actually for maths only. Because 1st period the malays had their prayers.

Surprisingly, add-maths teacher came.

I actually told my friends that she won't come today as she was going to kl.

Luckily, she explained about that to the class. Haha, felt so guilty at first.

Was informed that we have to go back to school and take the UIA maths competition. I don't know whether I mention it correctly or not, because I myself don't know what is it.

They put my name.

I was damn lazy to go.

Didn't attend choir practice too. As I got something on.

Rest at home after that. Then, went for accounts tuition.

There are some brainxxxx people around. Come on la, if you have nothing to do, please get lost and go back home instead of disturbing people.

Let us have peace!!

Irritated, disturbedddd ): -angry-

shall continue later.... mind blank~

Used to be

Wow, Jolene is very thankful today.

Yesterday, I almost fainted when I reached home after tuition because I was too tired.

Stayed back in school until 5.30 then at night again, went for tuition.

I was really tired yesterday.

I just couldn't stand anymore, and I just lied down on the floor couldn't make myself to stand up and go to bed.

I was hungry and tired ):

My kind and beloved mummy cooked meehoon for me. I didn't even have the energy to eat.

Later, after taking panadol, I went to sleep.

Before sleeping, I was worried as I haven't finish my tugasan harian for moral. And, I realised that I haven't practice to be the mc for today.

I just couldn't wake up anymore, and I saw the bible verse in my phone.

As usual, I prayed to God. But, yesterday I prayed together with that verse. I can't manage to do anything anymore, I just leave it to You.

This morning when I woke up, it started to rain. I know that I'm not lucky, God heard my prayer. He knows that there are too many things for me today.

Therefore, today is the forth time I missed the chance going up on stage.

Haha, I don't mind doing so actually as I'm quite used to it. But, maybe I will do some stupid mistakes, so God keep avoiding me to go up? Yea, maybe. hehe.

Jolene is getting lazy again.

My homework is becoming more and more again.

Stop being lazy.

Today, want to finish bm komsas, physics and biology nota.

GO JOLENE. STOP DREAMING. jiayouuu :D

Jolene is still sad.

Is it I'm the one who had changed or you all are the ones who had changed?

Haiz, probably me.

I'm the left out one as usual.

I enter group one, wanted to get in the topic, I can't.

I try group two, yea it's better nowadays, but they are having more fun without me.

No matter group one or group two, they are having more fun without me, and that's the conclusion.

If included me, the whole situation will be weird. Yea, extremely weird.

Found one, he was willing to teach me, and we can even be very good friends, but however the chance never come. He is too busy for me.

Found two, she is a very nice friend. However, I never know what is she thinking about. I don't even know when or why is she unhappy.

Found 3, long ago have been good friends yet still can't share anything with her. Sometimes don't know what is she thinking too.

Found 4,5 and 6, sometimes can be close. But, they feel happier without me around. Situation won't be so tensed.

Found 7, don't know when, she ruined my life indirectly.

Found 8, know her since secondary. Have same situation but don't have the chance to get to together.

Found 9, very close friend before this. Shared everything, can get good advice from her. Now, she is in a different class.

Found 10, lastly you. Only friend can share, but not all. Not your fault, it's just I don't know how to say. The only person who cares about me.

Found 10, 11, 12 and so on~ ''friends'' yea.. as you said so.

Am I blamming otherS? Or is it all my fault?

Today in the lab, or whenever I was dreaming, I looked around.

Everyone has a smile on their face, laughing, smiling. Happiness all around.

I tried to join, why can't I feel the happiness?

Maybe, I'm more suitable to be in my own world, enjoying my life with my books, as I don't disturb others, don't make any situation which is funny to become tensed, as I don't need to make a fool of myself doing silly jokes and laugh myself, as I don't need to think of ways to join in others conversation........ yea... that's it.

Don't be sad or unhappy, it's my own feelings and opinion.

I didn't mention who are them, please don't put in your names as you like.

伤害

你知道那对我有多大的伤害吗？

你知道吗？

一句的对不起能够弥补所有的一切吗？

我不稀罕。

又处于不懂自己在做什么的状态了。

清醒吧！他已经离开了，不会再回来了。已经失去了！别再这样下去！

到底明白吗？

一切已经过去了！

一切的痛苦由我来承担，只希望永远不需要再见到你，我不想再见到你，一个伤害我的人！

因为你，让我更坚决地想换号码。换了，就等于一切已经结束。而没换，也没什么差别，因为我的电话，不会再出现你的信息。

这是我的遗憾。

MONDAY.

Maths teacher was not here today, WOW.

But, we had prefects meeting, so there was no difference. Too bad ):

English, still owe my lovely mummy two essays, relax ya. Coming soon, still in the process.

Physics, as usual I'm blind, deaf during physics. -.- It's not that I don't want to listen to him you know, he is just............ I can't understand what is he talking about!!!!

Moral, memorizing nilai :D had fun. haha.

While bm, as usual doing corrections. She asked us to do but she NEVER mark our book. Hm, she marked, but just simply ticking without even having a glance on our work. Wasted my effort ): At least, she read la and tell me where is my mistake what. She asked us to do corrections by taking one of the essays from other class, I wonder that is the most perfect essay in the world? ...

Wow, a bit over over ar. hehehe. That's jolene.

Well, when I reached home, I was doing....?? Hmm, I lost part of my memory, I have forgotten what I did just now. But after that, I actually didn't want to sleep, ACCIDENTALLY, I fell asleep. And, when I woke up, my handphone showed it was 5.40. Ya lah, my phone is faster than usual time for about 5 minutes.

And, I realised, WHAT DAY IS TODAY? monday.. HEY, I'M LATE FOR TUITION!!!! HAHA.

Rushed down, my mum thought I was sick and didn't want to go for tuition. Well, I'm a healthy girl k. Hehehe. God bless me :D

Guess what, I forgot to bring my water bottle, my pencil box and my calculator for tuition.

Good, sleep la Jolene. Sleep more!!! Thank God I have a pen in my bag, feel so uneasy without my pencil box which is full of the things which I needed. -.-

Luckily, I got one pencil box and a calculator after tuition :D hehehe.

A little too over after tuition.

Was thinking where to eat. 7-11, malay shop or ally? Every week has this problem. Where to eat?

At last we decided to go for ally, very sad that the taufu required my xuewah was out of service. HAHA. And, that little girl keep complaining that she wants taufu taufu and taufu. ~~

Later, my turn going crazy. We bought potato chips from 7-11.

On the way to jielian's house, I kept laughing and laughing like a mad person. haha. That xuewah la, I see her face then I started to laugh and laugh. People looking at me, wondering where is this mad girl from? HAHA. I'm not mad, I'm normal k. Relax (:

Finally, reached home.

Jolene is doing her chinese essay now. Wow. Miracle. First was cleaning up my room, swept and mopped the floor. Second was this.

Like father like daughter? or Like daughter like father? okay, whatever~

haha. That day my daddy cleared up the house in the midnight. I was so angry because it was noisy. Then, just now my mum said. I really same as my daddy. Like to clean up at night -.-

that's why I'm his daughter k.

My birthday is coming. When it's near, I stop counting.

When it's still a month or even a year away, I started to count down and reminding my mum every single second. haha.

I hope to get surprise. From my mum, maybe? But, she has stated clearly, this year no more ): Because I had taken the photos before this which cost her about 100 over ringgit.

Anyway, you still owe me a converse bag. hehehe

That's all for today.

I shall continue on my work or have a nice sleep.

Goodnight everyone ! :D

lovely sunday

Lovely sunday.

My favourite day is SUNDAY. hehe

As shown in the picture, Jolene finished whole packet of french fries herself for the FIRST time, I guess? haha. Okay la, a bit ''bo liao''

Regret that I didn't go for worship this morning! Professor Yap speaking about ''what is worship''.

After Joel, my brother's sunday school, my irritating brother, he never stop being irritating -.-

We went to mentakab as every sunday we will go :D

Happy because other days I don't have the chance to go gai gai, or walk walk. Hehe.

I don't like to stay at home.

We went to the store, watsons.

Spent so much time in watsons because of my mum la.

We all were quarreling about which colour to buy. I mean to dye her hair. She said every colour put dye on her hair will be black what, so no difference.

I choose what also she will comment because there were so many different types of brown-.-

Mum: Which to choose? Faster la, simply choose one for me.

Me: Okay. (took one, whatever brown la, showed her)

Mum: You sure this one? Like too red.

Me: Okay. -took natural brown-

Mum: don't want la. Like nothing special

Me: -.-

Mum: faster la. Anyway, dye what colour also will be black.

Me: -took number one which is black- then, gave her.

Mum: why you take black? It makes my hair very unnatural.

Me: OKAY. TAKE THIS ONE LA, LIGHT BLONDE, then you can see the difference CLEARLY.

Mum & Me: start laughing ~~~~ whole shop our voice.

Choose one colour also took us almost half an hour I guess.

Tonight, I'm going to church again :D

Professor Yap will be talking about Israel 1 and 2. and, I'm interested :D

Hey, give me comments. Digi or hotlink?

Prepaid or postpaid better?

I'm sick of using postpaid la. Now, my sms very cheap, but one call cost me 30 sen -.-

title?

I'm glad, many of my friends went :D

After two days, I'm back (:

Well, Friday was a tiring day.

After school, I had to go for choir practice, singing the song in such a weird way -.- I forgot the tone, oh my goodness~ As I didn't go for the practice last week, I was quite lost in the beginning. LOL.

Everyone was singing with the right tone, and Jolene was lost, starring at the paper. sad case.

On friday too, have conflict with someone. But, at last it was okay. You try to do it again, I won't forgive you.

Okay, after choir, rushed back home and went to tuition after that. Great, two tuition.

As usual, was blur during physics tuition~~~ so, Jolene was actually dreaming. Then, accounts tuition. Count, count and count. Ended up my brain full of numbers and numbers.

Finally, finished tuition. Mum fecthed jielian, sam and me to 'duo xiang' for dinner.

Then, we went to the church after waiting for mr. tay(who decided to go after that) to finish his dinner and we walked to church. Was very angry with someone who spoilt my whole day *angry*.

But, enjoyed the special meeting. Oh ya, I don't know whether I made a mistake in my previous post. The speaker is Professor Yap actually.

I enjoyed the talk, and happy that many of my friends went :D

The first day was about fossils. He told us that there is no evolution by proving to us. Very interesting, but the next talk, I was quite confused with it. Don't really understand. Overall, it is quite good (:

Reached home at 11 something.

Saturday.

Finally got to eat my ''gan lao lao shu fen''. Hehehe. After so many years, the taste is still the same, I love it :D

After that, Jolene spent the whole day sleeping actually. Until suddenly, ah pan called me and asked when is my birthday -.- Spoilt my sleep and my dream.

Woke up, realised that I wasted my time again. Every time I will tell myself I must do this, do that during weekends. However, I never success even once.

I was too tired during weekdays, so when saturday and sunday reach, I can't leave my bed.

At night, again I went to church. It was about science in the bible.

Wow, such an interesting one. I don't know about others. I myself like the talk a lot (:

As it reminds me how great is our God, the creator of the world. He knew what is going to happen in the future, so through the bible He tell us about it. The books in the bible exist thousands years ago. Who knows Science during that time? Why the things stated in the bible is definitely the same which is related to Science which we know today? This proves that God knows everything.

The end of the talk was quite scary as he talked about sins and judgement. For the wages of sin is DEATH.

Heb 9: 27 tells us that death is not the end of everything. After death, there will be JUDGEMENT for everyone of us. So, don't ever think that you can enjoy, you know, get off of all the suffering and so on. Because, there will be the judgement day awaiting you.

It seems scary, especially when I listened to Professor Yap.

But God never want to scare people, because He is the only One who knows the future and that's the truth as it will happen.

So, what are we waiting for?

God has sent his Only Son to die for us on the cross, He has paid all the penalty that God demands. The only thing we need to do is to receive God's gift. God wants us to receive it.

Accept or Reject, that's the only thing we need to decide.

After church, went to ally cafe with daven. Saw mr. lim there.

Had supper and finally reached home at almost 12 I think?

FRUSTRATED OR FANTASTIC?

Frustrated or fantastic?

I love both words. Yea, I love them like mad.

Why is Jolene so busybody?

Why is Jolene acting like a small child?

Why is Jolene doing such stupid thing?

Why is Jolene crying for things that is not worth it?

Why is Jolene caring for things that TIDAK BERKAITAN, NOTHING GOT TO DO WITH HER?

Why is Jolene so useless?

Why is Jolene sad all the time?

Why is Jolene making everything so complicated?

Why Jolene is always the one who do all this things?

Why Jolene is the one who care for something, but in the end she ruins the whole thing?

Why Jolene can't understand what are others talking about?

Why Jolene can't be a person for others to share with?

Why is Jolene always worrying for this and that?

Why Jolene can't just say ''I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT''?

WHY I JUST CAN'T DO THAT?

I realised, I expect a return from others after what I have done.

This is totally wrong.

Do not be afraid- I am with you!

I am your God- let nothing terrify you!

I will make you strong and help you;

I will protect you and save you.

Isaiah 41:10

Such a wonderful verse! I love this verse a lot lot! It takes all my pain away.

God I don't know what to do, but I turn my eyes upon you.

That's the end for everything.

Don't think anymore.

It will only be more complicated. So, it's better to stop thinking, leave everything to God.

God makes everything happens with a purpose, He has planned everything to happen. So, why am I worrying for all these things?

Maybe He wants me to go through these things, so that I will be a tough girl.

I feel very frustrated when I was writing at the beginning, I even broke down with tears. But, I suddenly remember about the verse we learnt during bk class.

WOW, GOD LOVES ME.

I get to know God when I was listening to a speaker, forgot his name. That time, I was facing some problems, and surprisingly, I felt that God is talking to me through that speaker. That was when I started to believe in Christ. I have such a BIG BIG GOD, SUCH A LOVING GOD.

Everytime, when I'm facing a problem. The moment I attend church or bk class or even opening my bible, God speaks to me. EVERYTIME. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GOD LOVES ME? WOW!!! I'M SO EXCITED.

何谓‘’朋友‘’

这几天的我，都处于心情低落的情况，而身为朋友的你们发觉到了吗？

说了这句话，有人会在说，我又在博同情了吧！我希望大家明白，这是我的blog，我又发言的权利，而且我没强逼任何人来看。

这只是我发泄的工具吧了。

Today, school was okay. HATE PJ, yea Jolene hates PJ!!!!!! PENDIDIKAN JASMANI.

He always comes in and torture me ar.

Don't let me do homework, then he talks about those stupid things.

About stress? emotion? Yaa, right! You are making me more stressed and more emotional!

Still must prepare a book for his notes. My sejarah and biology notes can't even finish already, so YOU, please take your number and wait!

Was damn bad mood already, he still come in and talk and talk and talk. Wow. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE MAN...............!

Luckily, I was writing some lyrics of christian songs. That makes my heart calm, and I have peace after that.

Or else, I will bomb the teacher?

Regretted that I actually show my ''bu shuang'' face to him. Hey, that's very rude, girl! Jolene never done that before!

Yea, I regret. Sorry teacher. He is my teacher, and how also I will respect him. But, please la, let me finish my homework first then I will deal with your notes ya.

English was okay. Homework a lot. Have to do later, together with maths and add- maths.

I'm lonely, you know?

When he was talking about emotion in class, I almost cried. It's because I'm too tired I think. I'm too tired of my school life, and everything around me.

I don't have the peace in my heart. My heart is full of jealousy, sad, fear, worried and so on~

I was reading the bible yesterday, something about peace.

There is one way to overcome it, that is to calm down and really spend some time with God. TALK TO HIM, as I don't have anyone else to talk to.

That's such a sad case. I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Before this was about him, I can't tell my family because my mum don't allow us to be together. Then, I chose to tell my friends. In the end, one really listen to me, but I hurt the person the most. Hey, do I have only one friend? I tried to talk to others, guess what they react to my conversation? I'm really sad you know, when any of you is facing any problem, I will always be there to listen to you, but when I have the problem, where are you all?

I remembered, sometimes I cry, it's not because of him, he has hurt me until I don't know how to react already, but it's because I realise that I don't have friends you know.

Why do this ''FRIENDS'' problem always come to me?

Since primary school, there were so many problems. Is it really because I'm still not mature enough?

Why other people can have good friends, best friends while I don't have?

I always think about this question, I try to recall what did I do. Okay, I know I'm very emotional. Sometimes, I think I'm better than others. I tried, I really tried very hard to control, even my patience, I always remind myself that I should stay calm.

And, when others hurt me, I remind myself, God can forgive our sins then why can't we forgive others. So, when I realised I did a mistake, I even can say sorry to someone who I was very angry with after something happens.

I tried not to hate others, but why I still can feel the loneliness in my heart?

Okay fine. Maybe they are not interested with my problems. So, no one wish to listen. Yea, maybe. They just have their topics to talk, but it does not included me.

The pj teacher said, say out if something bothers you. Who am I suppose to talk to?????!!!

I talked to my mum before about this long ago, she always reminds me that I should be tough.

Don't be influeced by those things. If people don't want to be friends with you, just let it be. The world does not end here, you are going to meet more people in the future. There are more and more friends you will meet.

Yea, I always tell myself that. It's okay. Everything will be fine soon. I shouldn't be angry over small small things. Anyway, I have friends. It's just that I haven't found someone whom I can really share everything with the person.

I still have God who will always be with me.

This is what I always use to console myself.

My mum said, don't always think you are right and people is wrong.

Well, I can say that, I always think that I'm wrong, and so people treat me like that,

So pleaseeee. If there is anything in any of your heart that Jolene has hurt you, please say it out to me. Instead of let me guessing and wondering.

I accept any comments, but don't just leave me behind. When you are happy, then you come and join me. When you are not, you walk away.

Maybe I did this to any of you before, I'm really sorry.

I'm not pointing at anyone, please don't misunderstand about this.

For those who have best friends, PLEASE, I SAY PLEASE, appreciate your friends around you.

Don't do anything to hurt them. Don't ever try or even think to do like that.

Once get hurt, it's very sad.

For you, I don't need the ''chance'' you created for me and him, what I need is you all.

Do you get what I mean?