崩溃

Yesterday, I was damn frustrated because of my stupid homework.

I don't know how to do and all of a sudden I feel I'm so useless and I just don't know what to do.

So, mum suggested that I should drop bk to at least lighten my burden. I'm very very tired.

I'm tired of studying.

Why am I suffering so much that I can't finish my homework?

Now, not only that, I don't even know how to do.

I can't catch up for almost all the subjects.

Wanted to talk a lot, but I have forgotten everything.

Yesterday, I really don't know what should I do. I was lying on the floor, helpless...

I didn't want to talk to anyone neither my mum nor my friends.

Then, I cried.

People used to say I'm so weak, not tough enough.

When I face problems, I will cry.

Wonder how am I going to face my college life or even working in the future.

突然好想写华语。

我实在找不到自己，很无助。我不知道以前那不轻易放弃，为了得到好成绩而努力的我去了哪里。我顿时觉得很辛苦。功课的压力，朋友的问题，比赛的压力，父母的唠叨，把我压得真的快喘不过气来。有些人会想，只不过是那么小事，干嘛要这么紧张？功课做不完可以怎样，不就慢慢来啦！烦也没有用！觉得这句话没错吗？对我来说，我不懂什么叫慢慢来了！当你永远都做不完时，而前面还有一大堆的东西等着你，你就知道什么叫恐怖。我现在对着满桌子的功课，已经厌倦了！

可能我的朋友们你们都有这样的问题，而你们都能面对它。我则是比较弱的那一位。懒惰，贪玩的性格让我走不下去。我很辛苦。我不知道自己可以怎样。现在，什么事情我都会不爽，我不想读书了。这所有的问题都因为我懒惰，我真的不懂可以怎样改掉这性格。我功课都做不完，还读什么书，考什么试啊！

中三和中四的分别很大。中四的读书日子，你永远不会有休息的一天。你会和我说，这都是我累积成的功课。每天都有补习，难道你们都不觉得累吗？我连看电视的时间都牺牲了。我真的很累很累，我好想放弃了！！ 没有人会明白我心里有多么的难受！

为什么我还那么得空在这里浪费时间? 让我告诉你吧，我太笨了，每一科我都跟不上，现在的我脑里一片空白，我还要做什么功课？还要慢慢来做什么？等死？

讲了一大堆的谎话，参加比赛的稿，十多篇我要怎么背？对你的确给了我很多时间！ 又是因为我懒惰？我真的就是那么懒吗？何谓懒？那些不上课只顾着惹事的人不是懒吗？而我就是他们哪一类的？

比赛，还去比什么你告诉我？我没心读那两本书，试过晚上都会提醒自己要记得读，但当我赶了功课，我都精疲力尽了！还读什么？怎样读啊？我不会安排自己的时间？？？

随便吧，总之什么都可以用在我身上。我什么都不会就对了！

我不敢参与你们，因为你们都是勤劳的人，而我不是属于你们的。我不知道自己在哪里，我真的很累了！

still pray for what?

I never go church, never read bible, never pray, still got what to say?

I'm just lost.

I don't know how to go back to You. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!