何谓‘’朋友‘’

这几天的我，都处于心情低落的情况，而身为朋友的你们发觉到了吗？

说了这句话，有人会在说，我又在博同情了吧！我希望大家明白，这是我的blog，我又发言的权利，而且我没强逼任何人来看。

这只是我发泄的工具吧了。

Today, school was okay. HATE PJ, yea Jolene hates PJ!!!!!! PENDIDIKAN JASMANI.

He always comes in and torture me ar.

Don't let me do homework, then he talks about those stupid things.

About stress? emotion? Yaa, right! You are making me more stressed and more emotional!

Still must prepare a book for his notes. My sejarah and biology notes can't even finish already, so YOU, please take your number and wait!

Was damn bad mood already, he still come in and talk and talk and talk. Wow. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE MAN...............!

Luckily, I was writing some lyrics of christian songs. That makes my heart calm, and I have peace after that.

Or else, I will bomb the teacher?

Regretted that I actually show my ''bu shuang'' face to him. Hey, that's very rude, girl! Jolene never done that before!

Yea, I regret. Sorry teacher. He is my teacher, and how also I will respect him. But, please la, let me finish my homework first then I will deal with your notes ya.

English was okay. Homework a lot. Have to do later, together with maths and add- maths.

I'm lonely, you know?

When he was talking about emotion in class, I almost cried. It's because I'm too tired I think. I'm too tired of my school life, and everything around me.

I don't have the peace in my heart. My heart is full of jealousy, sad, fear, worried and so on~

I was reading the bible yesterday, something about peace.

There is one way to overcome it, that is to calm down and really spend some time with God. TALK TO HIM, as I don't have anyone else to talk to.

That's such a sad case. I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Before this was about him, I can't tell my family because my mum don't allow us to be together. Then, I chose to tell my friends. In the end, one really listen to me, but I hurt the person the most. Hey, do I have only one friend? I tried to talk to others, guess what they react to my conversation? I'm really sad you know, when any of you is facing any problem, I will always be there to listen to you, but when I have the problem, where are you all?

I remembered, sometimes I cry, it's not because of him, he has hurt me until I don't know how to react already, but it's because I realise that I don't have friends you know.

Why do this ''FRIENDS'' problem always come to me?

Since primary school, there were so many problems. Is it really because I'm still not mature enough?

Why other people can have good friends, best friends while I don't have?

I always think about this question, I try to recall what did I do. Okay, I know I'm very emotional. Sometimes, I think I'm better than others. I tried, I really tried very hard to control, even my patience, I always remind myself that I should stay calm.

And, when others hurt me, I remind myself, God can forgive our sins then why can't we forgive others. So, when I realised I did a mistake, I even can say sorry to someone who I was very angry with after something happens.

I tried not to hate others, but why I still can feel the loneliness in my heart?

Okay fine. Maybe they are not interested with my problems. So, no one wish to listen. Yea, maybe. They just have their topics to talk, but it does not included me.

The pj teacher said, say out if something bothers you. Who am I suppose to talk to?????!!!

I talked to my mum before about this long ago, she always reminds me that I should be tough.

Don't be influeced by those things. If people don't want to be friends with you, just let it be. The world does not end here, you are going to meet more people in the future. There are more and more friends you will meet.

Yea, I always tell myself that. It's okay. Everything will be fine soon. I shouldn't be angry over small small things. Anyway, I have friends. It's just that I haven't found someone whom I can really share everything with the person.

I still have God who will always be with me.

This is what I always use to console myself.

My mum said, don't always think you are right and people is wrong.

Well, I can say that, I always think that I'm wrong, and so people treat me like that,

So pleaseeee. If there is anything in any of your heart that Jolene has hurt you, please say it out to me. Instead of let me guessing and wondering.

I accept any comments, but don't just leave me behind. When you are happy, then you come and join me. When you are not, you walk away.

Maybe I did this to any of you before, I'm really sorry.

I'm not pointing at anyone, please don't misunderstand about this.

For those who have best friends, PLEASE, I SAY PLEASE, appreciate your friends around you.

Don't do anything to hurt them. Don't ever try or even think to do like that.

Once get hurt, it's very sad.

For you, I don't need the ''chance'' you created for me and him, what I need is you all.

Do you get what I mean?