Used to be

Wow, Jolene is very thankful today.

Yesterday, I almost fainted when I reached home after tuition because I was too tired.

Stayed back in school until 5.30 then at night again, went for tuition.

I was really tired yesterday.

I just couldn't stand anymore, and I just lied down on the floor couldn't make myself to stand up and go to bed.

I was hungry and tired ):

My kind and beloved mummy cooked meehoon for me. I didn't even have the energy to eat.

Later, after taking panadol, I went to sleep.

Before sleeping, I was worried as I haven't finish my tugasan harian for moral. And, I realised that I haven't practice to be the mc for today.

I just couldn't wake up anymore, and I saw the bible verse in my phone.

As usual, I prayed to God. But, yesterday I prayed together with that verse. I can't manage to do anything anymore, I just leave it to You.

This morning when I woke up, it started to rain. I know that I'm not lucky, God heard my prayer. He knows that there are too many things for me today.

Therefore, today is the forth time I missed the chance going up on stage.

Haha, I don't mind doing so actually as I'm quite used to it. But, maybe I will do some stupid mistakes, so God keep avoiding me to go up? Yea, maybe. hehe.

Jolene is getting lazy again.

My homework is becoming more and more again.

Stop being lazy.

Today, want to finish bm komsas, physics and biology nota.

GO JOLENE. STOP DREAMING. jiayouuu :D

Jolene is still sad.

Is it I'm the one who had changed or you all are the ones who had changed?

Haiz, probably me.

I'm the left out one as usual.

I enter group one, wanted to get in the topic, I can't.

I try group two, yea it's better nowadays, but they are having more fun without me.

No matter group one or group two, they are having more fun without me, and that's the conclusion.

If included me, the whole situation will be weird. Yea, extremely weird.

Found one, he was willing to teach me, and we can even be very good friends, but however the chance never come. He is too busy for me.

Found two, she is a very nice friend. However, I never know what is she thinking about. I don't even know when or why is she unhappy.

Found 3, long ago have been good friends yet still can't share anything with her. Sometimes don't know what is she thinking too.

Found 4,5 and 6, sometimes can be close. But, they feel happier without me around. Situation won't be so tensed.

Found 7, don't know when, she ruined my life indirectly.

Found 8, know her since secondary. Have same situation but don't have the chance to get to together.

Found 9, very close friend before this. Shared everything, can get good advice from her. Now, she is in a different class.

Found 10, lastly you. Only friend can share, but not all. Not your fault, it's just I don't know how to say. The only person who cares about me.

Found 10, 11, 12 and so on~ ''friends'' yea.. as you said so.

Am I blamming otherS? Or is it all my fault?

Today in the lab, or whenever I was dreaming, I looked around.

Everyone has a smile on their face, laughing, smiling. Happiness all around.

I tried to join, why can't I feel the happiness?

Maybe, I'm more suitable to be in my own world, enjoying my life with my books, as I don't disturb others, don't make any situation which is funny to become tensed, as I don't need to make a fool of myself doing silly jokes and laugh myself, as I don't need to think of ways to join in others conversation........ yea... that's it.

Don't be sad or unhappy, it's my own feelings and opinion.

I didn't mention who are them, please don't put in your names as you like.