I MEAN IT

Today is a frustrated day again. 

I was wondering when I reached home, are all these things because of me? Is it because of what I said that influeced them or even make us quarrel until like that? cannot say quarrel la, we didn't actually want to quarrel as everyone is sick of all these things. I don't want to talk about that anymore, if they don't need us, no point for us to take part, you all go ahead and wish you all all the best, sincerely~

I skipped for choir practise today, as I can feel that I am going to break down soon and cry, plus I'm not feeling well no matter it's physically or emotionally. I do admit that I am a very hot- tempered person and I am very emotional. But, I decided to change as God told me to do so. However, why people do not give me that chance? And, for your information, I do admit that I scolded her yesterday as I was so angry but after that I realised my mistake, and I apologised. I know, it's no point of saying sorry all the time while repeating the same mistake. You know what, the more I try to control myself, the more I feel pressured and the situation becomes worse, everything will be out of control. Can anyone teach me what to do now? I know it's because of you, and I get it from our teacher. Can I know what did I do to you? Why to you wan to treat me like this? Why are acting such a hypocrite? First, you consoled me, asked me to calm down and don't get so angry because of her. I apologised, but you don't know anything and yet you go and report? Is this call friends? I should know earlier you will definitely do like this! You think I don't know? Why you want to bother other people's things? Now, the choral speaking one are you going to do the same thing? I know maybe you already did. I controlled myself not to scold you or say anything to you, I would just let you know that I know what are you doing, and please stop your nonsense! It's my business, and please mind your own business!!!!

I'm scared for choral speaking actually, I'm worried. I know we are very irresponsible, and I think this is all because of me? I hope it's not. But..... 

I'm tired of all these! I MEAN IT, I REALLY MEAN IT. Don't force me, one day I will quit everything, including being a prefect, taking part in anything ~ and, I will live in my own world, stop disturbing me! I really want to pray to God that all these things will be fine, and everything will stop, it's ENOUGH. 

I SERIOUSLY MEAN IT.

It's all about God

I attended the bible knowledge's class again today as usual. We learnt about Acts, chapter four and five. I learnt a lot today, especially chapter five about the two person who lied to God. I feel that the passage touched my heart, letting me to know that how serious it is when a person lied to God. As my teacher said, our God is a mercy and loving God, He is also a person whom we should feared of. Today, I leant that it's very important to serve God sincerely and not just by going to church or telling people about God. We should also stop doing things that He doen't like such as telling lies, angry with people or not forgiving people for what they did to you. When I studied the passage, it made me thought of an incident which really made me regretted of doing so. Anyway, I will find a chance to apologise to this person, as I did something wrong and I think that he can sense it even before this. 

Hmmm.. Today, don't know why I have a special feelings towards you, and I can't figure out why. Maybe it's my ''cuo jue'', wrong feeling la -.-, as we knew each other for so many years already, we are good friends :D  Okay, studies is the most important now, nothing is more important than that. I know it!

Pray that I continue learning more about God, I will have more faith in God. And also, for our March test, hope that all of us will do well in it. Lastly, for the yp meeting, pray that more friends will join us :D 

That's all for today, nightnight. :D

stress, tired, frustrated,angry, sad.

Everything was in today, as what was written in my title. First, stress, because March test is coming. Second, tired, frustrated, angry, sad and so on~ I am tired of school life, ok what I mean is the things happening in school and not what am I studying. First is the time, 2.45, don't know who go and set the time, but since it cannot be changed, no point angrying about that. Next is the prefect's things. I feel like resigning as I feel that it's meaningless to be a prefect if we are the one getting scolded by the ''head'' while those who students who did wrong actually got nothing as they just need to give us their names, but no action was taken on them. Whereas we are the one who need to attend for meetings by meetings. Okay, I'm not complaining or what, but will it be a little bit too over to us? You treated us kindly before this and we behaved rudely to you? I wonder when did u treat us ''kindly'' as you said and when did I behave rudely! When you scold, you all scold everyone as though everyone is wrong. Why don't you check on yourselves first? Ask us not to stay in class, how about you all? I heard my friends saying that she saw you all are in class, so you need to take action on yourself? -.- Haiz, all and all, we should always look at ourselves before judging others, and we actually do not have the rights to judge people. Don't treat us as your servants k, we are doing what you asked us to do, and you do la your own job. I'm just expressing my feelings as I can't stand it anymore and I don't know what is wrong for us to stay in class during recess. If those who finish eating, do you all expect us to hang around like an idiot wasting time? Why can't we stay in class to do our homework? And, if you don't trust us, and even want to get angry with us, then when we resign, you do lah everything by yourself! 

I was so mad today, and after that I found out that what Xuewah and I did for our chinese section in the class was damaged by those no-brain people, and it was in the dustbin. Excuse me, what did we do to you? You have your own class yet you come and spoiled people's things! How do you feel if other people do the same thing to you? Okay, I know you never think, as I described you as no-brain people. Our work was wasted, we rushed to finish it for the class and still the lock doesn't present. So, don't blame me for doing nothing! What do you mean by we are not decorating the class and hanging around doing nothing? Can't you see that all of us were doing our homework? Do you have eyes? And, no one cares about the marks as you can't give us that much also. If you want us to do our work, please go and get the lock and take actions with those no-brain people and not scolding us! And to my friend, I'm sorry, sincerely, I know I was a bit too over scolded you as I was so angry that time, but somehow God reminded me, and He cooled and calmed me down, I apologised to her too as I know it's not her fault. By the way, she didn't spoiled my work what. Thank God that I was able to calm down or not I will lost a friend and I definitely don't want that to happen anymore. 

Anyway, our things were stolen by the nothing-to-do people again today, I really hope that they will stop all the nonsense lah, why want to take people's things which are not belong to you all? 

Ok, after prefects and class, choral speaking again. Haiz, sad, no mood and confused about that. First, you asked us to think, we think and even quarreled and at last we got something already, you didn't give us the chance to present our ideas. I really don't know what you want from us, keep reading and reading? I felt so tired that time, thinking to give up. Let's see how will it be tomorrow.  

Don't want to talk more about all these things anymore, sometimes we are really disappointed for several things, but don't forget to think back properly. Should we think so negatively? And, should we angry with those people, as God doesn't want us to get angry easily and He wants us to forgive our enemies. What for we make ourselves so tired by getting angry over small small things? I wrote this out is just to express my feelings as I don't want to keep it all to myself, but I know it's enough, it's over and I shouldn't get angry anymore. And, we are humans, it's natural that we will get angry, but we need to wake up and forgive them.

Raining~

Well, it's raining heavily now. 

Yesterday didn't have time to post so continue today.

Nothing much for this few days, as homework only keep increasing until I don't know which to do first.

Now, I'm still considering whether to take part in choral speaking or nt, as it's quite irresponsible leaving my teacher like that -.- Will see how others decide~

Feeling bored and tired, and I haven't start revising seriously for next week's test. haizzz.

I think it's better for me to continue on my homework, I want to finish them all as soon as possible k! 

raining heavily is quite scary -.-

Again, it's a tiring day.

Just reached home after add-maths tuition, not as blur as before, so it's a great improvement :D
Anyway, today when I reached school, quite moody because keep thinking about the March test. And, I was wondering, why the others are doing things as usual, no stress no fear nothing. But, I'm the one worrying too much? After that, I attended the prefects meeting. It ends after my two periods of bm finished. Long long speech about ''what are the prefects for'' and so on. What makes me angry is, this Friday they want to have another one -.- Which means that we have to go back to school at 3pm. Are they crazy? As though there is no other time? After school, I have to stay back for choir already, and have to rush for tuition later. So, the conclusion is ''not staying back''.

Choral speaking. Another thing which I was worrying for. Everything I want to take part. And, that's me. But, this time, I'm sorry to my friends, I want to give up joining choral speaking. As my problem is, I can't work in group, can be said that I don't have that patience -.- The test is coming too, and you want me to think of the ideas, I seriously don't have any. So, why should we quarrel anymore? For those who are interested, please continue on what you are doing; for those who are not, please don't take me as an excuse like what you all said just now, you will regret k...

There is another thing which makes me sad today, anyway I don't wish to talk about it yet. I'm trying not to think about it, CONCENTRATING FOR MY STUDIES.
Continue praying that more people will join our yp meeting :D Let's spend our time together with God :D

Homeworks, I'm coming for you. nightnight :D

Stressed up AGAIN?

Just finished my youth meeting and also my dinner.

Okay, youth meeting was quite bored today, as Uncle Sai Kee was not here, so we didn't have message today but we were playing games. Games that ''interesting''? Anyway, enjoyed also la~ About church, next week there will be a special youth meeting on Sunday, there will be some students from kl coming to join us. It'll be fun I think, hope that more people will join us :D

When they announced the date it was on 1st of March, and suddenly it reminds me about my March test. I forgotten it? It can be said that I just didn't realise it is on next Monday. And, the youth meeting reminds me. I got a bit stressed up after that, when I think of all my subjects..... How am I going to do my test, I was thinking.....

This morning I was having a talk with my mum, telling her that I can't cope up with my physics. I really can't understand at all, and it's even worse when I read up myself, I don't know what it means. I told her that because of this subject, I am considering to switch to accounts, but in the same time, I will have to sacrifice my chemistry and biology. I chose Science because of them =.= Physics is really tough, so she said we will just see how for my test. If I really can't, I have to switch. No choice, no point forcing myself. I wanted to form a study group before this, but we are seriously busy nowadays, all our time are fully booked. ): 

March test.... I think of it, then I feel stressed. -.- ''pessimistic'' as what you told me?  

Lastly, pray for the youth meeting, so that more people will gather together; and also for Joel, he promised will go Sunday school next Sunday; and all my friends, pray that we will do well in our test. 

CONTINUE ON MY HOMEWORK & REVISION.

New here.

Decided to change to here,
hope to express everything here.