SAD

Today, did a miracle again as I walked back home from school under the hot sun, without an umbrella..
Is this the way I can feel better?

During the choir practice today, I tried hard to control myself and sing properly, but I can't. This few days I keep saying I CAN'T. What's the problem with me?
I'm still trying not to think and control my tears.
I'm not as tough as what you all thought.
But, I know there is no point crying in front of you all, I don't need others to feel pity or ''tong qing'' me.
It's true that I sang badly just now and tomorrow is the competition.
I don't want to spoile the whole team, I just can't find a reason to quit.

You know, the feelings?
IT HURTS. DO YOU KNOW THAT?
This is the first time.
I can feel the pain and I just can't control my tears..
It's just too difficult, too hard, too pain to face...

I CAN'T!
I can't take it anymore.