It's raining outside there....

Today is the first school day after one week short break. Nothing much happened, it's just that the assembly was too long today and the sun was shining brightly -.-
I was informed today that the three competitions I am taking part will be on 1st, 2nd and 4th of April which is next week!! Now, how am I going to cope with all three of them?
When I'm writing this, I'm quite down actually.. Sad or angry? stressed? I don't know. Just blank..
Because it's raining? Because of the three? homework ? results? or because of YOU? I hope it's not any one of them, I will be alright by tomorrow I think.

Being a conductor. You know what? It's not an easy job. Or, am I making it difficult? I just don't know. I believe I can do it, but when I am facing them, I'm just not brave enough to lead them. I feel scared and worried, until now I haven't tried to lead them from the beginning to the end. What am I going to do next week? Just stand there like what I usually did?
I don't want to make a fool of myself on that day knowing nothing, now I'm trying hard to follow. I really don't get it what is my problem, I just don't know.
I wonder.... Actually, I'm not the suitable person, right?

My pidato. Ya, it's true that my long script is almost done. But honestly, I'm not ready at all. My impromptu speech I don't know anything yet. I did my research, but I haven't do a single one. What am I waiting for and why am I still wasting time here instead of starting to prepare them? You know what, I don't know how to write! This March test really makes me disappointed on my bm paper. Last time I used to score but now not, why? I used to add in nice words and phrases, now I added too but why did it come out like that? Almost all the peribahasa I used are all not suitable, usually I won't make mistakes like this but why this time it turned out like that? I'm over- confident? It really hurts me and even more when we are doing corrections today. She asked us to copy one of my friend's one. Hers is simple and direct whereas mine.... I don't know how to describe. You may take this as an excuse but it affects me a lot, I didn't expect to get such marks and I even thought I did ok for it. Now, I dare not do or add anything into my essays, I'm afraid it may turn out that way again.. And, please.... two points for the pidato, just two and I can't write, it's impossible right? what am I doing now actually!

And, another don't know what stupid Science quiz is coming on this Wednesday. I don't know anything and they can suddenly put my name and suddenly they just informed me like that. Hello? I'm not genius, without asking, without any notice, without anything, you just ask me to take part like that? And, I don't even know who is the one who asked me to take part, who put my name -.-

I'm sad. The rain stopped already. I love raining actually. After expressing, I feel better actually.
Just pray that everything will be alright by tomorrow.

nightsss.