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relink please.

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Finally.

Finally, I'm back home and back to blogger.

After 5 days not blogging and I'm back now.

This will be a short one too I guess, because I have to do some last minute homework again.

Physics report and my moral work are the aims for today.

Yea, about singapore trip, this time I was a real good girl as I didn't bought anything! WOW. Not even a single shirt. Good girl. (shy) 0.0 okay la, shampoo those small small things not counted ya. haha.

And ya, I got a new bible and a new phone. (:

Just don't have that proper mood to blog.

that's all then.

singapore.

Yea, as I have mentioned, I'm currently in singapore.

bla bla bla.

I promised that I will do my work, so I brought accounts and add maths.

Great, I finished ONE and only one question for accounts, for add maths, I just started.

Bored bored bored....

But, hoping that holidays will not end, because once it ends, I have to go back, have to go to school and exam is coming, lastly.... just don't feel to go back.

Enjoying here :D

blablabla.

don't know what to blog.

was writing another post just now, but till the half, it's like.... LOST, BLANK.

I know it's a stupid post for today, let me rearrange everything first.

wait for the next one^^

Jolene

untitled

Few days didn't post already.

Well well, holidays reach finally :D *happy*

But, I promise myself, this holidays must really work hard already, no more just laptop- facebook-online please.

Books are calling ~~

Everybody is telling me to relax, just treat this moment as a part of your life.

Hey, you won't be studying throughout your whole life right... Okay, you may, I mean continue learning by reading books or what, but it's like there are many other things such as after primary and secondary school life, you will step into the working part, and so on.

So, everyone is asking me to enjoy and you know, just try to be happy always and just accept all those exciting challenges. And, life won't end just because you failed your exam or you didn't do well.

It's just a part of it, teaching you how to grow tougher.

Recently, I'm quite affected of it. As many of them told me that, I'm not studying for anyone or anything in this world.

You may study for the scolarship, BUT are you sure and 100% that you will get it?

Secondly, studying for your family, mostly dad and mum. Feeling really depressed when you didn't do well, feeling stressed and pressured.

I myself experienced it until I realised that I'm actually putting the pressure on my own. No one ordered me to get 1st or all A's. I'm the one who used to think negatively 0.0

It's really suffering if you study for your family. -.-

Hello?

We are studying for ourselves, for our sake k.

After thinking for quite some time, I realised how important is it to really study for ourselves.

After spm, who is the one applying for scolarship? ME

Who is the one who will control our future? of course God, and me. As if you don't work hard, that's the end.

It's simple, it only depends on whether you want or don't want. That's it.

Yea, try to love to study :D love all the subjects, love your teachers and love youself. Most important is trust yourself. Just enjoy this secondary school's life.

Know what? Don't ever say NO, or I hate xxx subject. Don't say that word before trying to love it.

Once you say you hate it, it is far away from you since that minute and you will never get interested or fall in love with it.

Once you say you love it, miracles will happen. As you love it, you have the interest in it and you can do it.

For pmr, I remembered I used to do badly in my kh, also known as kemahiran hidup. All the C's and D's come back every time. I told myself, I will love this subject, I won't give up easily. Thank God, I manage to catch up with it :D

So now, same to my form four subjects, can say lah I haven't really get to understand all the subjects really well. ): MUST WORK REALLY HARD.

Talk a lot huh today, haha. Okay, next time will cut cut. Just something to share, don't like then please close your eyes :D

Tomorrow:

Physics tuition 10.30- 12.30

Accounts 2-5

Jiayoussss!

Breakfast 9.15, better sleep now or else no breakfast for me ):

nightnight :D

sunday

Mum got tuition int the morning, so we didn't go for the worship service in the morning.

Went for breakfast in mentakab at about 10 plus.

During the journey back to Temerloh, mum's car got problem.

At first it was the air-cond problem, no air-cond, then heard sound, and the car became slower and slower.

Super scary and worried. Will we get stuck in the middle of the road?

We stopped at cowboy for a while.

Then, decided to go home since still can start the engine.

Thank God, that we managed to reach temerloh, reached xiao auntie's house.

Uncle was not in, so have to wait, at that time we realised the awful smell coming out from the engine, and smoke coming out. WOW

Conclusion, the car is left in xiao auntie's house. Shall get back tomorrow.

Sitting other teacher's car tomorrow.

Walao, tomorrow siao siao.. 3 tuition. Chemistry, bm and add-maths. can die -.-

Reached home at about 1pm.

Then, slept from 1.30- 4.30. Super geng and pro!!!! haha.

Woke up, faceboook~~

Raining heavily, Jolene kept the clothes, folded the clothes and ironed the clothes.

So good girl *shy*

The heavy rain poured on the roof, so loud, super scary.

Now, I finally know that ironning clothes, super tiring! ): one week's uniform~

I realised something is, by doing all those stuffs, I actually learining to be independent. I won't have my mum beside me when I'm going to college right?

After clothes, Jolene swept the floor :D

Mum downstairs, I upstairs. Swept + mopped.

All the housework today, sunday would be the housework-day :D

Trainning me to be independent day.

Don't know why, although it's tiring, I enjoyed doing it because I know it's my room, my house, and it's my responsibility to clear up the mess, especially my room.

Now, everything is clean, at least we are staying in a clean environment.

After reporting about today, let's talk about yesterday.

Old town, 4 friends birthday... Poh Shien, Wai Ling, Jui Jie and Cian Rhu.

Cian Rhu's birthday is today, Happy Birthday to her :D

All four should be very happy, got lots of presents. hehehe

But, before old town, Jolene was like an auntie in bubbles, choosing presents. LOL!

I went to eat at happy fried before that, reached bubbles at about 7.45.

Spent almost 45 minutes there, like an auntie, don't know what to buy just keep hanging around.

At last, chose 3 presents. Jui Jie's one, shared with daven. The 3 girls present really almost break my head. Anyway, if I have been given a longer time, or maybe there are more ideas from friends, I will get to choose gift better ones. However, it's just a ''xin yi'' right. Hope they like it :D

Reached oldtown, the pair in their world, boys in their world, girls in another world, yea Jolene too in her own world. LOL.

Almost wanted to went back at 9pm. Because really can feel the lonely feelings. However, decided not to, after all it's not my birthday. So, no black face no leaving early I tell myself.

Luckily, the black gang boys made some stupid jokes, and everything is better after the cutting cake ceremony :D

Photos will be uploaded soooon (:

Reached home at 11 plus.

That's all.

Tears

Tuesday, raya holidays is coming soon, wow. Jolene just can't wait to enjoy her holidays again, damn stressed nowadays.

Thought that I have learnt to control myself, but I actually I didn't. -.-

I'm still the Jolene, who cries when she faces any problems, as she thinks that is the only way she can express her feelings. At least she will feel much much better after that.

I'm honestly saying that, I have been trapped by myself recently.

I don't know why I just doubt everything about myself.

I can laugh for this minute and cry for the next, crazy?

I'm tired of the current me.

You know what, I can even be so stressed for my chemistry that I was attacked by the equations whole night yesterday, causing me not to sleep for the whole night.

It was super scary.

I almost wanted to break my head. I think I dreamt about equations, and the ways of solving them.

The feeling was like, all the equations are above me, much more stronger, bigger and taller than me. They were stepping on my head, expecting me to solve them, balance them. walao -.-

I prayed, but why???

I can't feeling the relationship between us anymore, is it my faith towards You is not strong enough?

I doubt myself, do I really believe and trust in You?

Am I a christian? This is a serious question.

I'm tired of being happy in front of others, because I don't want to see anyone to be sad.

I pretended to be nothing, deeply inside, I'm confused. Should I be happy or sad?

After all, I know..............

I'm scared. I know You will be there for us, we prayed...

Is it because my prayers are not enough? not sincerely? Or I just seek you when I'm having troubles. I don't know.. All kinds of questions come out in my mind.

I'm actually full of fear.

As I said, I can be happy for a thing that I should be sad.

But after a minute, I'm crying for that thing.

What is it all about?

I feel myself giving up soon, You know?

Brothers and sisters in Chirst,

pray for me and my family.

I mentioned that I love to take photos when I'm moody, did I?